FARTING

Clara sorta recently posted a post on farting.

Flatulence, what a fascinating topic, it's like a sacred topic that plebeians violate in public while the upper class violate it in the privacy of their own rooms. How exciting.

I remember there was this one time I was in Australia, and I came across this shirt that had 25 pictures of bums with air puffs emitting from the cheeks. Then they had names to each. There was the Silent But Deadly (household favourite), SkillSaw Fart (it vibrates the farter), Splatter Fart (let's just say air isn't the only thing coming out), Stutter Fart (a butt with a verbal problem!) and a ton more. It was very funny, and strangely, my family and I can remember it up to this very day. *Awww!!*

But whatever your fart preference is, I just want you to know, no one judges you. Even if you choose the sonic boom fart. Sure, it might smell shit (literally), and have strength to light a match, but everyone has to fart sometimes!

Even soap opera people fart! (speaking of soap opera people: they are the most plastic looking people ever! There's this guy in General Hospital who looks like a live-version of Ken, Barbie's ex-boyfriend. How weird is that?!)

Anyways: Check out the video. People farting on national television.



Told you everyone farts!

But yeah, farting totally blows. (harhar, couldn't resist the pun) Can you imagine if you're out on a first date and you're exchanging googly eyes at each other, you think it's just you and him. You lose control of your senses, he sighs and you- "PLLLARRRTT..." You let one rip. In front of him! Oh the pain! The shame! He looks at you grimacing uncomfortably and calls for the bill, while you were still chewing on your Chocolate Mousse! Then never again do you see him. Except for when you accidently bump into him, yet he can't be around you, there's too much bad air surrounding your relationship. (I couldn't resist this pun either!)

But never fear! Farting is for everyone! That situation up there will probably never happen to you.

- blow me down! -

Confessions of a K-culture convert.

I would have to say, I never expected the K-wave to be of tidal (HAHA) proportions. I've always thought of it to be a tiny wave. As in it would dry up on the beach.

Rain would die down to a drip and tear-jerking, formula-following K-dramas would get so tiresome aunties would soon turn of the taps.

I was wrong. Somehow, I've been sucked into the whirlpool of K-culture. KimChee! Boybands! Screaming, raging fanboards with hundreds of fans posting pictures and pictures of their idols! Animated icons flashing from every corner of the fanboards!

Someone stop me! But who could resist the face of a 21 year old man who looked like a 15 year old. How pedophilic. No matter how strange and disturbing it sounds, you, like me, will fall under his spell.

Look at that. Look at that and tell me the truth. Can anyone resist the cherubic smile of that man-child? No. No you can't! Once I saw him, once I heard his manly voice I knew! I knew my future was at hand.

I now proudly wear the badge of a K-culture convert!

No. No. You can't change my mind. I've even photoshop-ed my face next to his. (go to nicole's blog. I'm too embarrassed to show it here)

I've tried learning to speak it, to futile attempts. It started with "An nyoung ha seh yo", hello in Korean. (can anyone blame me for not being able to say that?! It's like speaking English without a tongue.) Then thinking that I know more than I actually know I said, "saranghae is sorry!"

Needless to say, my Korean-speaking friend burst out in laughter after staring at me stupidly. "Saranghae" is I love you. and "Myah Neh" is Sorry.

But as I soon found out. It'll be quite impossible to ever visit Kim Kibum. (yes that is his name. His name might sound funny to you! But I bet in some countries, your name means glutinous maximus in their language!) He'll never come to Singapore. I am desolate.

Well friends. If you know me, you can console me by getting me pictures of him. Hopefully, for my birthday. He'll be my present. Yes. Yes. You can mail him to me. Remember to pay for postage!

- pictures of him -


















- Don't judge me. I'm human. I've seen the errors of my K-hating days -