FARTING

Clara sorta recently posted a post on farting.

Flatulence, what a fascinating topic, it's like a sacred topic that plebeians violate in public while the upper class violate it in the privacy of their own rooms. How exciting.

I remember there was this one time I was in Australia, and I came across this shirt that had 25 pictures of bums with air puffs emitting from the cheeks. Then they had names to each. There was the Silent But Deadly (household favourite), SkillSaw Fart (it vibrates the farter), Splatter Fart (let's just say air isn't the only thing coming out), Stutter Fart (a butt with a verbal problem!) and a ton more. It was very funny, and strangely, my family and I can remember it up to this very day. *Awww!!*

But whatever your fart preference is, I just want you to know, no one judges you. Even if you choose the sonic boom fart. Sure, it might smell shit (literally), and have strength to light a match, but everyone has to fart sometimes!

Even soap opera people fart! (speaking of soap opera people: they are the most plastic looking people ever! There's this guy in General Hospital who looks like a live-version of Ken, Barbie's ex-boyfriend. How weird is that?!)

Anyways: Check out the video. People farting on national television.



Told you everyone farts!

But yeah, farting totally blows. (harhar, couldn't resist the pun) Can you imagine if you're out on a first date and you're exchanging googly eyes at each other, you think it's just you and him. You lose control of your senses, he sighs and you- "PLLLARRRTT..." You let one rip. In front of him! Oh the pain! The shame! He looks at you grimacing uncomfortably and calls for the bill, while you were still chewing on your Chocolate Mousse! Then never again do you see him. Except for when you accidently bump into him, yet he can't be around you, there's too much bad air surrounding your relationship. (I couldn't resist this pun either!)

But never fear! Farting is for everyone! That situation up there will probably never happen to you.

- blow me down! -